Day 30: 10 things I hope to be remembered for

1. My work.
2. My help to the community
3. My personality
4. The ability to take risks
5. A company if I ever start one
6. Philosophical shit
7. The people I've touched
8. Saving lives, if I ever go into cancer data mining.

I can only think of about 8. I guess I don't really want to be remembered for much.

Day 29: Most misunderstood thing about me

I'm actually not sure. I clarify a lot of things when people say something wrong about me. Possibly that I'm an extravert? For some reason certain people I know think I am an extravert. I think it's because I talk a lot around close friends. I'm not sure.

Day 28: Love language

I haven't been in enough relationships to say what my love language is, but I think it's physical. I normally love to get touchy with a girl when I'm with them. As in hugging, cuddling, kissing, holding hands, etc.

Day 27: Favourite part of body

I don't particularly have one. Does the brain count? Because it's a pretty amazing body part.

Short post. Not much to say here, or i'm just lazy right now.

Day 26: Popular notion I think is wrong

One of the most known and popular notions, is that Einstein was the smartest man in history. The thing is, I think there are many people who are better than him. Da Vinci is a great example. He was able to do so many things in his life. Nikola Tesla was also a wonderful man. He thought up of AC current, and build many contraptions that utilized AC current, and the most amazing thing is that he did it for the good of mankind.

Day 25: If I could have dinner with anyone

If I could have dinner with anyone, I would have dinner with Nikola Tesla. He has such an intriguing mind. I dare say, more intelligent than Einstein.

Day 24: Family dynamic

Well, my family from when I was young lacked communication. My mum would always tell my sisters off for whatever reason. Now, there's more communication. My mum tells my sister off less often, but yeah...

Day 23: 5 hobbies

1. Starcraft 2 - Fun and challenging.
2. Playing my uke - Fun to learn new songs.
3. Talking to strangers - working on this one, but the thrill is amazing.
4. Being philosophical at 1am - It's just interesting the thoughts you come up with.
5. Walks, and looking at the sunset - They're enjoyable.

Day 22:Where do I see myself in 5 years? 10 years? and 15 years?

Sorry for the delay. I've been very lazy with these posts.

5 years
In a job. Preferably something I enjoy. Doing stuff with  my life. i.e. volunteer work, owning a company.

10 years
Either really stressed and tired, or really happy. Hopefully with the same job. If I get bored of the job, hopefully I can go to a different one.

15 years
Too far in the future, yo. Have at least $500,000 in my bank.

Day 21: Super powers

If I could have one super power, it would be to be able to control time. I would first use it to go back in time to redo things perfectly, but knowing me, i'd probably go back a second time and fuck things up intentionally.

Day 20: 3 significant memories from childhood.

1. My dog's death. I've explained it before.
2. Losing my friend. Explained in the previous post.
3. Stopped my singing career at the age of 6. I used to sing at restaurants for weddings, and stuff.

Day 19: If I could live anywhere, where would it be and why?

I don't have a preference really. I can live anywhere, and it wouldn't matter. Why? Because I'm pretty comfortable with life regardless of location.

Day 18: Most difficult thing I had to forgive

The most difficult thing I've ever had to forgive was when my primary school best friend left me for another group. I honestly only forgave him because he was my best friend, and because he was young and was easily convinced by another group.

It all started one day when we were just playing on the playground. I had fun, he had fun, until some other person came along and tried to separate us. I he successfully did it. With very few words. I guess my actions did contribute to it.

Day 17: Something I wish I was great at

There are actually a number of things I wish I was great at. The main one would probably be owning and running a business. My theory is that if I run a business, and it is sucessful, I can delegate certain tasks to other people, and have more free time to myself.

Day 16: 5 greatest accomplishments

This one is going to be hard. I havn't accomplished much in my life.

1. Organised a paint ball game of about 17 people. Turned out to be a success.
2. Able to play guitar
3. Learned intermediate programming outside of uni.
4. Got a funny ATAR. (69.15)
5. Created a server using my own computer. HTTP, FTP, and gaming servers.

I'm really pushing it for those last few.

Day 15: If I could be an animal.

If I could be an animal, I'd be a lone wolf, or a leopard.  Why? I just think they look cool. They're not afraid of many things(at the least they appear to be ferocious). Wolves seem to be an intresting creature, since they can hunt in a pack, or alone. Leopards... I havn't done my research. I just think they're cool.

I honestly cannot say much here. I haven't thought about this much.

Day 14: 5 strengths

5 strengths I have....

1. I like to understand things. My ability to want to learn has got to be my favourite trait. My arsenal of knowledge is pretty large.
2. I can conquer my fears pretty easily. My fear of the dark was conquered when I was 18. I know that seems old, but there are a number of people who never overcome this fear.
3. I understand the theory behind a lot of things, hence why I find the world so intreresting.
4. I'm a realist, but at the same time, an optimist.
5. I can leave my friends at the drop of a hat. Though, this can be seen as a weakness.

Day 13: 5 Weaknesses

List format again. So five of my biggest weaknesses is pretty dark.

1. My biggest weakness(or strength. Depending on how you see it.) is probably being influenced easily. Some examples are of me not waking up earlier than 12 because my mum says to go back to sleep.
2. My next biggest weakness is my inability to do stuff. For example, I cannot send an email, without being reluctant to do it.
3. Another weakness is that I tend to leave things until the last minute. I don't have much to say about it besides I need to do things earlier.
4. I have a hard time making friends. Nuff said.
5. I cannot get along with my family.  I can't talk to them without sounding like i'm pissed off. The truth is, I really am pissed off at them, but I still want to fix my relationship with my family. This has impacted me negatively.

Day 12: Typical day

These days it's been a lot more interesting. A typical day for me would consist of one or more of the following:

• Wake up.
• Brush teeth.
• Shower.
• Game.
• Going out with mates.
• Doing stupid shit for the hell of it.
• Stress over my work, and not actually do anything about it.
• Skype call with my friends.
• Uni
• Attempt to approach girls, and fail miserably because i'm too much of a bitch.
• Small talk.
• Tease one of my friends about their hot female friends.
• Check out girls.
• Open up Git Bash, and play around with it.
• Open up cmd, and play around with it.
• Play guitar.
• Sing.
• Brush teeth. Again.
• Sleep.

Day 11: 10 pet peeves

Wow. I've skipped a whole week of this post. Sorry about that. I got caught up on some things.

1. BIGGEST ONE: People who get offended when I tell them the truth about them. Like honestly, it's true. If you're so pissy about it, you have to change it.
2. People who won't shut the fuck up. I'll listen if I ask you. If I don't ask, don't fucking tell me about it. It's fine if you want to tell me something, just listen to the social cues.
3. When people are nosy.
4. Condescending people.
5. Hypocritical people.
6. People who invade your privacy.
7. People who won't be mature about situations that require them to be mature(kind of hypocritical for me to say that).
8. People who can't take jokes.
9. People who assume stuff, when it's not true.
10. Cheesers. Play the game properly, bro. (Starcraft 2)

Short post. I have 7 more of these to catch up on.

1234 page views.

Sorry for the lack of monthly posts. I'll make it up to you guys. I've been extremely caught up in this assignment. Once i'm done with it today, I will be posting all the posts i've skipped.

Day 10: Most embaressing moment.

These topics are getting harder to write about. I don't have many embarrassing moments. None I can think about right now.

I'll write one up if I can think of one.

2017 Edit: And here it is 3 years later... This was during my "pick up girls" day. Back then my friend and I would try to conquer our confidence issues by approaching a girl. I did it first by going up to a girl at McDonalds and ordering something, like you would. FOR SOME FUCKING REASON, I decided it was a good idea to ask her for her phone number. It went something like this.

Me: *Ordering something*... proceeds to finish the order.
Her: Would you like anything else?
Me: *Trying to be smooth* How about your number?
Her: *Smiles* says something and rejects me(I think it was politely).

I still remember that pretty vividly because it was one of the most embarrassing moments in my life. Honestly though I don't regret it or feel embarrassed by it anymore. It has turned into good memories with good laughter. It was something I did because I wanted to do it.

I had a nightmare

I haven't had a nightmare for at least a couple of years now.

It didn't revolve around me. It revolved around my uncle. In this dream/nightmare, my uncle became homeless. I don't know why, but I got so emotional about it. I was around the city one day, and saw my uncle. I had the realisation that he was homeless, since his clothes indicated like that. I ran up to him to talk to him, and wanted to buy him food. He disagreed, since I think he was embarrassed. I asked if he wanted maccas(that product placement), and he completely disagreed to it.

I went around to find food, and I lost him. I went around to find him, and I think I gave him a phone call(not sure why, because he didn't have a phone), he answered and I said meet up at a location. He agreed. I started to head towards that direction. I saw a really cute girl, and started talking to her, and really quickly made out with her, and started touching her(with her consent). I heard my uncle's voice and said to her I had to leave. I started to run to him, and for some reason he wanted to leave. I started signing my version of the song "For the first time in forever" by Anna and Elsa, the one in the castle. He finally agreed, and we sat down next to those girls I met. We also met another homeless guy, we just started to talk about things, and life. The other homeless guy said something about having abbot in Canberra as our leader and still having homeless white people.

Day 9: 10 people who have influenced me

Shitty post again. I've been busy lately, so excuse my quality.

I don't think there are 10 people who have influenced me, only a few. Most of the time, I get influenced from strangers who I don't even talk to. With the exception of the first one, this list is in no particular order. Note: I'm not listing any names, with the exception of people who are publicly known.

1. Most influential person i've ever met was that guy who did a random guess talker in my tutor. I'll go over more details some other time.
2. The next guy was is Richard White, the CEO of Wisetech. He gives some really good speeches.
3. This girl I met in year 11, she wasn't really influential, she just changed my view on the world.
4. A friend, who I am still friends with today, in year 8. Man that guy knew how to influence people.
5. This new guy I recently met. He changed the way I viewed the world.
6. That magician who picked up that girl at uni that one time. LOL very specific right? Basically, he was really good at it, and inspired me to pickup.
7. The guys at simple pickup. I'm pretty uncomfortable telling you guys this, but yeah... they changed the way I viewed the world, and reduced my anxiety around people to basically zero.

If I recall more names, I'll write them down. For now, I can only think of 7 people who have actually influenced my life positively.

Day 8: Five passions I have

Five passions, this will be a quick post. I'll fix it up later. Currently, they are:

1. Guitar
2. Drawing
3. Gaming
4. Helping people
5. Volunteering. Okay this last one was kind of a cheat, since helping people is the same thing.

Day 7: Dream Job

My dream job. I don't have a title for it. If I were to have a dream job, It would need to have these qualities:

• Have hours which I can choose. I cannot wake up at 8am every work day.
• Workmates which I can stand.
• Something that I don't do for leisure. For sure. I would not enjoy doing something I do in my spare time to get my mind off work, as work.

This was a shit post. I don't have a dream job. I'm sorry, guys. This was a bad topic for me.

Day 6: Hardest thing I've ever experienced.

Prenote: I actually started getting teary when I wrote this.

Probably my dog's deaths. To elaborate with what I had said once, I cried a lot the following days. My first dog, Trevis , died the day after I broke my arm. I distinctly remember coming home and thinking, "Ehh... I'll spend tomorrow with my dog. I'm really tired right now." I woke up the following morning only to find my parents telling me my dog died. Like many people, I did not believe it at first. I saw a bag in my the laundry room, I had hoped that it wasn't true. No matter how much I hoped, it happened. I went to school that day looking depressed. Sat away from all my classmates at recess(not like I had any friends at the time, but that's not the point). One of the teachers approached me and ask me if I was okay. I explained the situation, and she was nice enough to say, "You are brave to come to school today." I'm not sure how much it meant to me at the time, but it definitely means a lot to me now. The week that ensued was completely depressing. Luckily I was still in primary, so I didn't have to deal with much crap from other people.

The second time this happened, I wasn't as sad when she started to get sick. I think it's just I was less emotionally attached to this dog. Her name was Angel. What happened was, my second dog started choking, and vomitting. At the time, I didn't know why, so all we could do was take it to the vet. The vet explained to my family that she had to get some anti-biotics in order to survive. At the time, we couldn't afford it. So we just let the RSPCA take care of her. When we went in, I held my tears as much as possible. I'm sure they figured out that we were the owners of that dog. A few days later we found out she was dead. Once again, I hit a low. It was a sad time, I had cried all the tears I could cry. It was several weeks after until I got over her death. That's why I could never get myself a new dog. I don't want to experience that trauma ever again.

Bonus: Something that really sparked my emotion was this time my mum ripped a photo of my dead dogs. I remember having that choking feeling, and tearing up.

2017 edit: I found out that the reason why Angel died was because my dad fed it human medication. because apparently she was sick. Basically he kept it a secret for several years before telling anyone. I don't think I can ever forgive him for basically killing our dog.

Day 5: 5 Things that make me happy right now

I wrote the ones for Saturday, and Sunday in advance knowing I won't have internet access.

1. Winning staring contests with total strangers — It seems strange, but as I've said before, one of my biggest insecurities is confidence. Whenever I can win a minute long staring contest with a stranger, I feel like I'm on top of the world. No really, I do.
2. Hanging out with friends — The most important thing to me right now, is being able to talk to friends about life and stuff. I had a realisation that I actually enjoy people — and no this wasn't the realisation from the 10 things you'd tell your 16 year old self. It's quite fun.
3. Approaching random people — Yes, I am referring to people of the opposite gender. It feels like an achievement, and I get a rush whenever I do it. Not much else to it.
4. Staying up until 3am — It's tranquil and often quiet enough for me to think.
5. Allowing my creative juices to flow — Whenever I play guitar or draw, especially with the 3am nights, I just feel relaxed.

Note: I'm going to have to write Day 6's challenge another time. I started getting teary when writing it. I don't want to get teary in public.

Day 4: 10 things to your 16 year old self

 Considering my 16 year old self already knew most of this, this is really just advice for other people who may come across this blog. There are actually very few things I want to tell my 16 year old self. Here are some.

1. Meet people. Homosapiens are freaking interesting.
2. Continuing the first one, the most important people you'll meet, will happen randomly. You can't plan who will be important in your life.
3. Girls are immature between the ages of 12-19. Only few are keepers. Date if you want, but most likely, you won't find your future wife in there yet.
4. You're a man. Take action. In order words, KISS THAT GIRL! Or whatever other action that requires you to be a man.
5. Learn programming before Uni. It's useful.
6. Find a job. Ignore what everyone else tells you about high school. You need to have experience with other people.
7. You will realise something about your immediate circle of friends at the age of 19(Time I wrote this). That's something you have to realise yourself. No cheating. Ahaha. I'll write up what the thing I meant here in a future post.
8. The most relevant person you will ever meet, will only talk to you once, and he will be talking to you indirectly.
9. You become a troll, and a great mind fuck artist.
10. You still have no fucking idea what you want to be at the age of 19.

Bonus: I don't know what I would have replaced to put this in there, but here it is: Live. You don't need to follow any of the advice I gave you here. Just live. Most things will turn out for the better.

Day 3 : Relationship with parents

Sorry for the one day delay. I had no net, and forgot to post this while I was in uni. Also, most of this post will be guessing work, since I have never thought about this topic too much.

My relationship with my parents can be summed up with one word: Shit. Any variation of that word also works. It started when I was little. I never really talked to my parents, I got along with them just fine as a kid. As I grew up, and discovered online gaming, I became more distant. I was always pissed off at my mum. I guess it was because she was always trying to know what was going on in my life. Fml. Even thinking about it makes me pissed. I know she's just trying to care, but it gets annoying.

I guess it only got worse as my mum constantly prevented me from doing, exploring, and experimenting. The earliest memory of this I remember is her preventing me from doing such a thing was when we first got a computer. It had nothing — a few icons here and there, and the start bar. I wanted to click on the windows logo just to see if that was a way to turn off the computer. My mum prevented me from doing that. Later that day I found out that it was the way to do it if you want to turn off the computer. Had I tried it, it would have taught me to try to experiment. Obviously this hasn't affected me much, but it still feels like things could have turned out differently, if I had been raised differently. Maybe that was my dad preventing me. I forget. I was only 5 years old.

With my dad, I never really looked up to him. Maybe it's because he doesn't talk much about his achievements. I'm not sure. With my dad, I enjoy spending whatever time I can with him since he's a very lenient guy. Not much to say about my old man.

All that being said, I have been sort of trying to improve my relationship with my parents. However, I  can't seem to get over how pissed off I am at my mum.

Day 2: Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears

I'm actually blogging this at library right now, since my internet died out. That dedication right?


Onto the post, So I have some pretty irrational fears, and some rational ones. I've dealt with most of my fears, except a few. My funniest/strangest fear is that I fear wet hair in the bathroom, or dry hair anywhere else. When I see wet hair, or even dry hair on the floor, I become angst for no known reason. Heck, I can't even clear out the hair from the vacuum cleaner. I'm not sure why, but it's true. How it developed... That's a hard question for this fear. I guess it started at a young age, it naturally developed for some apparent reason. I'm thinking it has something to do with it being dirty, and I don't particularly like to get myself dirty.

Next in line,is my fear of other people I care about dying. It's self explanatory. You don't want someone to die before you do. Let's be honest here, most of us don't want this either. It developed during my time of mass existential crisis, and anxiety attacks. Yay, uni! I had a realisation that I wouldn't care if I died, but if someone else I cared about died, that would be a different story. I've had several dreams about this, and one time I even woke up crying. Manly, right? It kind of stemmed from my dog dying at a young age. That was one dark day for me. I was in tears that day. Wanted to be left alone, and I was actually glad that people were there for me when it happened.

My third fear is isn't really a fear, it's more of a worry, but I don't think I have any more major fears. Anyway, my third worry is that I'll stay the same for an extended period of my life. I've had a friend tell me he likes me because I'm the only person who hasn't changed during the time that they've known me. Honestly, this would normally be a compliment, but I actually took it to heart and realised that I have to change. Since, that's what life is about.

Anyways, Library is closing. I might elaborate on this later.

Day 1: List 20 random facts about yourself

1. I'm a male.
2. Currently a university student.
3. I'm Asian. 
4. I'm an introvert.
5. Has never had a proper job.
6. I program sometimes.
7. I stopped liking gaming.
8. I have horrible sleeping habits.
9. I hate listening to people I know for advice UNLESS I specifically ask them for advice.
10. I like to hear people talk
11. I'm scared of online dating, or at least the concept of it right now.
12. I started listening to sexual songs and have no fucking idea why.
13. I learn best by myself, but would like to have someone ready in case I need to ask questions.
14. I like to dream and daydream. A lot.
15. I see my thoughts visually. Kind of like Nikola Tesla. Actually it was because I found out about him, that's why I think like him now. At least I try to copy his thinking patterns.
16. I started having a lot of anxiety attacks for unknown reasons.
17. I'm pretty self confident, but not confident around other people.
18. Fly me to the moon by Frank Sinatra is probably one of my all time favourite songs.
19. I get good at things after taking a long hiatus from that particular skill/task.
20. I play the guitar.

30 day blog challange.

Googled '30 day blog challenge' and this was the first image, so leggo. 30 days. April's monthly challenge.

Yup.

Mimi, if you see this... ahaha sorry. Haven't seen your blog in a while so decided to read up on it. Now I'm doing this.

2017 Tommy Edit: I am adding in "2017 Edit for any new information/commentary, or more accurate descriptions"

0: Height

Last time I checked, 171-172 cm.
2017 Edit:  172 cm.

 1: Virgin?

Yes

2017 Edit: Still Yes. I'm saving it for marriage to clarify.

 2: Shoe size

nfi

2017 Edit: UK: Size 9; USA: Size 10

 3: Do you smoke?

No.

 4: Do you drink?

I started to recently.

 5: Do you take drugs?

What's your definition of drugs? I take drugs, not illegally of course.

2017 Edit: No illicit drugs. Seriously wtf... at 2014 Tommy. Stop trying to be a smartass.

 6: Age you get mistaken for

Yes. Way too often for being a guy.

 7: Have tattoos?

Nope

 8: Want any tattoos?

Nope. Too permanent for me.

2017 Edit: My opinions have changed. If I ever do get one, it would be 3 dots located on the inner part of my upper arm(humerus).

 9: Got any piercings?

 Had, ears.

 10: Want any piercings?

YES! Eyebrows, but it probably won't suit me.

 11: Best friend?

I don't have best friends anymore, just close ones. Right now, it's David.D, Vincent, and this new guy I met named Keven.

2017 Edit: Still true. Most of my close friends have distanced themselves from me.

 12: Relationship status

Non-existent.

2017 Edit: I lol'd at this one. Still very true. Though there are other steps which I need to take to change this (personal things).

 13: Biggest turn ons

So many to list. Girls who treat people nicely regardless of how they're feeling. There's more but I'll just list that one.

2017 Edit: Pretty/Cute girls. Yes I am shallow. Fucking deal with it. It says turn ons, not girl would you spend the rest of your life with.

 14: Biggest turn offs

Ignorant people. People who value their ego, and/or pride over the truth or what's right.

2017 edit: I see this in myself. I used to, and still do, value my ego. It's something that kept me thinking I was right all the time(or at the very least blinded me from the truth).

 15: Favorite movie

Hachiko. That was one sad movie.

 16: I’ll love you if

  Challenge me, mentally.

2017 Edit: I don't even know anymore. I just want someone to mother me... but that needs to change so I become more of a man.

 17: Someone you miss

I actually miss a bunch of people. Jessica, Who I considered my closest friend in year 1. Anyone in the FruityMuffins guild a.k.a. the best Australian guild i've had in any game. John, probably the first cool guy I met online. To list a few.

2017 Edit: This still remains true, though I somewhat have forgotten about this over the years.

 18: Most traumatic experience

When that guy grabbed my ass in Vietnam.

2017 Edit: Still VERY true (I am giggling as of writing this).

 19: A fact about your personality

I've become more negative.
2017 Edit: Can confirm, but not in the way you'd expect. A lot more light has been shed on society's growth because of this.

 20: What I hate most about myself

Lack of confidence. Something more original? Uhhhh I don't try much in life.

2017 Edit: Something even more original ? I can't really list since everyone's problems are fairly common. Here's one anyways: I lie a lot.

 21: What I love most about myself

Almost everything else. Yeah I'm pretty stuck up in that sense.

2017 Edit: Still very true. LOL. To clarify though. This is inner confidence, outer confidence could use some work.

 22: What I want to be when I get older

I.T. most likely. Nfi what else I'd be interested in.

2017 Edit: Yup. Still Information Technology. It's just going to help in the future. I know there are other fields that help but still...

 23: My relationship with my sibling(s)

Family I live with under the same roof = Horrible. Family outside that = Awesome.

2017 Edit: Eh... I take back what i said. Family I live with will always be my family. Outside family will change, even if they were strong relationships. I cannot speak for other people and their blood family though since some/most have it worse than me.

 24: My relationship with my parent(s)

Poor. Don't think it's improving any time soon.

2017 Edit: Oh yeah... still no improvement.

 25: My idea of a perfect date

Park and talk for hours on end, or sit somewhere where there's no one else and talk.

2017 Edit: Honeslty that just sounds boring. My 2014 self was very into making things sound more romaintic (I can't think of the word on the top of my head).

 26: My biggest pet peeves

The one where people comment on stuff in my life that has nothing to do with them/that they have no right to like just go away. < - I'm going to copy that, Mimi.

2017 Edit: Not much really bothers me anymore, but it's still a pretty important concept. Try not to bud into other people's business unless it's actually hurting someone.

 27: A description of the girl/boy I like

Hmmm... this is tricky. Yup. I got nothing. A girl I crushed on in uni at one point looked like she'd always stay up until 3am.

2017 Edit: Oh yeah I remember that.. ahah. she was probably 22-25? when I was 19. I still remember her as being very pretty.

 28: A description of the person I dislike the most

Annoying to say the least.

2017 Edit: Backstabbers, people who have no spine to make their own decisions, and rely on other people to make their opinions. Sort of like me I guess.

 29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend

For the fun of it.

2017 Edit: No seriously... I've done this before and quite frequently too. People have caught onto my bullshit though and it has become less fun. It's a problem and I need to fix it.

 30: What I hate the most about work/school

The whole freaking system.

2017 Edit: I still do, but who can blame them, there's no better system in place. Online learning or learning through experience is pretty fun though.

 31: What your last text message says

Sister to me: Stop practising I'm sleeping

2017 Edit: Excluding computer generated messages, Friend to me: "Ok"

 32: What words upset me the most

Enemy to best-friend in primary school(about me): "He's just using you."

2017 Edit: I actually forgot what this was about. I guess this will just be a deep wound that will permanently affect my psychology.

 33: What words make me feel the best about myself

"Thanks"

2017 Edit: I don't know anymore. Nothing seems to make me feel good.

 34: What I find attractive in women

Their ability to talk shit back, and if they're down to do everything.

2017 Edit: Oh yeah.. still completely true. Funny story. Someone actually asked me about this, and I said the same thing in 2016 (2 years after making this post initially).

 35: What I find attractive in men

Them bodies, and their sense of style. That sounded gay.

2017 Edit: Still true. THOSE FUCKING ABS MAN...

 36: Where I would like to live

Somewhere small, but not too small. Anything like a village.

2017 Edit: Don't know anymore. Maybe I'll revisit this idea some day.

 37: One of my insecurities

Lack of Confidence. Unoriginal, but whatever.

 38: My childhood career choice

Game designer.

 39: My favorite ice cream flavor

Does Oreo flavour count? If not, then cookies and cream.

 40: Who wish I could be

The guy I met at my tutor once who became a millionaire by the age of 20. Mainly because he changed from being shy to confident.

 41: Where I want to be right now

In a car or beach with my mates.

2017 Edit:  By myself, and just improving my life. Friends can wait.

 42: The last thing I ate

Rice and meat.

2017 Edit: Pho

 43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately

This girl , or Joseph Gordon Levitt. Man I love his style.

2017 Edit: Still true... but maybe not the sexist anymore

 44: A random fact about anything

You can see Mars sometimes when you're in Burwood.

2017 Edit: Learning how things are made from scratch and the behind of scene of everything is one of the most beautiful things you can discover. It just has so much genius behind it. Even simple things.

Depression + Uni

Written on the 14th of March. Posted on the 30th of March.

Lately, I've been feeling down. I think it may be uni and the fact that I couldn't take the gap half-year. I don't know, man. I just cannot be bothered for work. When I do uni work, it seems like all my energy just disappears.

Reason behind my private twitter and some context to my tweets on the 30th of march 2014

Congrats! You actually clicked on the link.

Anyways, the reason why I made a new private twitter is because I wanted to be able to tweet anything, my thoughts, my positive and negative emotions without annoying anyone. It's private for a reason, so anyone who may stumble across my private twitter will a) Just ignore it because it's private or b) not know who I am, and thus not follow it.  If people do decide to follow it, then i'll allow them, but they're free to unfollow any time they want, since I post at least a good 20 tweets a day.

This blog is kept open, because I feel like if someone were to stumble upon this place, they'll understand the mindset of other people. At least that's my way of seeing it. I always seem to enjoy listening to other people talk about their life, it helps me understand the world better than the way I created it in my head as a kid.

To give today's tweets some context, i'll explain it below.

In case you're wondering what I was feeling like today, keep reading. Early today I woke up to go pee. While I was getting up, I had an existential crisis again(3rd or 4th time in my life.) In that moment, I realised how unimportant we are in this vast universe. We're only a small fraction of atoms compared to the universe. Our brains can't even comprehend how big the universe actually is, and now there are theories of the multiverse. I went back to sleep after that. Had a dream that I met someone from high school I thought I knew (In reality, I didn't know this person in real life) and he said one of his friends committed suicide because of a girl named aria, or areeya... I'm not sure how it's spelt anymore. Not sure what that means. So, I'll try to Google it later.

Woke up at 2pm. Went on Twitter, Facebook, and YouTube. Now repeat that cycle for another hour. That's what I did for the first hour of waking up. After an hour of wasting time, I talked to my uni partner about an assignment. Made the layout etc.. etc.. not really intresting stuff to type up. Went church and saw that cute girl again. Didn't talk to her because I looked like crap. Didn't shave, still had bed hair — probably smelled like crap too. At the same time, I saw a lady in her 40s walking, and saw her tatoo on her leg. Thought about how much of a bitch I was for not approaching her and decided not to tell anyone except twitter. Yay for technology right? Went home and started playing guitar for four hours straight. Had so much fun playing the four chords song, rocketeer, such a fool, and attempting to play giant woman.

After playing with my toy for four hours long, I decided to buy a capo. Asked my sister to buy it for me, after I found the product. I also told her I didn't know what I was doing... but nope... she decided not to which was fine,  until... she started to complain that I fucked up. Like ffs. I told her that I didn't know what I was doing. Following that, it got even more annoying. My mum was hysterically telling me that I had a capo — which I did not have one, that's why I was buying one. It ends up she thought my tuner was a capo. Which is stupid, when I explained to her we didn't have a freaking capo. If we did I would have remembered.

When all that died down, I went to watch some jamnominations, and boy did I find a good one. It was this girl's version of Macklemore's Thrift Shop. Then.... it happened again... I thought about the formal night for the 5th-6th time this month. Fuck I should have kissed her instead of her kissing me. My reasoning behind it is I went as a 'friend'. Which I did, but yeah. I regret it now — after a whole year. When all that ended I went shower and had another existential crisis there.

There's a freaking fly in this room that's annoying me now. I'm also pretty annoyed at this family, too.

Everyone should read this post.

http://acmjtoth.wix.com/annatothmusic#!The-reasons-why-you-shouldnt-/c6a3/3

It's pretty interesting. I liked reading it because it gave me an insight into other people's mindset. Honestly, most of this post shows some pretty good points, but that's where practice and hard work comes into play.

Im glad I blog

It gives me an insight on thoughts that I forget as time passes. Not much to say here besides that.

Storytime

I once had a conversation with an old friend. It didn't last long, but it ended with me telling him that I would become a millionaire by the age of 20. It was based off an idea a person had implemented in me a while back; while I was in a class with a tutor. Some time as passed since then, and I am 19; still not a millionaire. I don't know if it was me being naive, or just idealistic of the world around me. However, I'm sure of one thing, and that one thing is i'm a man of words, not action. I rarely take the action required to complete my goals in life. Recently, I started to take actions towards my monthly goal. The goal itself is not important, so I will not mention it. These successes have been limited, but I consider it progress. I will continue to complete my goals, no matter how long they take.

Now I am going to rewrite this post with all of the details that would otherwise be missing in a "high quality" post.

The truth is I really did have a conversation with my friend. Before you continue reading, I know some people would assume the friend I was referring to was someone I had stopped talking to for over a year, and just caught up. That's not the truth. The friend that I referred to in this post has been friends with me for several years now — since 2009 to be exact. We talk almost everyday about random stuff. Like the young adults we are, we discuss many things, from people to events to ideas. Obviously, the conversation I had with him was just one other conversation. The conversation itself was not important to this post, but I had to give it some context. I did have the conversation several times though.

The idea of being a millionaire by 20 didn't seem unreasonable at the time. I honestly thought I would be able to do that, or at the very least $100,000, had I changed and did some things different. Obviously I had confidence issues — at least until I learnt to not give a fuck. The main issue I had was not lack of confidence, but rather, lack of content to talk about. I've questioned it time and time again, and I still do not have an answer that makes me want to stop asking. To answer your question: Yes, Some guy actually came into my tutor and talked to the class about life. It was awesome.

Though it is true that I am mainly a man of words, I do enjoy taking action nowadays, even if taking action nowadays means taking action once a blue moon. When I mentioned I take more action now than I have before, I actually mean it. To put it in context though, I complete one action a week. Realistically, in the past fortnight, I've done two things. Much less than most sucessful people who do one new thing a day.

Yeah the quality of this post really dropped. It's late, and i'm tired.

30 things to ask people(So you can get rejected)

Instructions: Put the word "ask" In front of every number so it makes sense. It saves me from repeating Ask 30 times. Note: Some of these are weird. 

Ask ____________ 

1. For her number.
2. To hold that person's hand.
3. If you can motorboat her.
4. For a date.
5. For a kiss.
6. To hang out on valentines day.
7. For a one minute hug
8. a
9. a
10. a
11. a
12. a
13. a
14. a
15. To touch their face.
16. If they want to see a random dance. Do the dance if they say yes.
17. For 100 dollars.
18. To shoot the ball if you see a group of people playing sports.
19. a
20. a
21. a
22. a
23. a
24. a
25. a
26. a
27. a
28. a
29. a
30. a

Another Note: 1-14 are related to females. 15-30 are general. Ones that are bold must be repeated to a different person -- if the first person you asked said yes. The ones that are crossed out are the ones that have been completed.

I don't know if i'm getting old or...

Today I had a strange thought. I wanted to take a girl to go slow dancing. Maybe it was the music telling me otherwise. Maybe it's because i'm getting older. I'm strangely relaxed today. Not sure why. Had to make a short post about it.

Long time no blog.

So recently, I finally finsihed the basic development stage of my program. Link to the page below. Instructions and everything is also on there, if you have any issues, leave a comment here. I'll reply to it within one month max.

http://nowye.blogspot.com.au/2014/01/success.html

Conundrum

Once again, I am writing this at 4am. I think I need to remove this habit.

Today I realised I had a problem. I was doing nothing with my life. How I realised this was simple. I once applied for an internship at a company. In my opinion, it went really well. The problem with what happened is that I did not follow it up yet. It has been over 1 month and I didn't email them back about what kind of position I would want. Now, I know some of you guys would be thinking "Omg! What the hell man ??!?! Work for yourself! Take risks, challenge yourself, etc." I would normally agree with you, but honestly, with the lack of experience that I have, I don't think taking risks is appropriate at this stage in my life. I just don't have the knowledge to talk to people. To convince them to do things. I know the best way to do this is to just try to lead a team. However, the team itself needs to be willing to stick with you to the end. Off topic, but I am a really indecisive person.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that, I lack the followup. I can start something so well, but once it hits mid-game, i stop. Not bothering to improve any further. I'm not sure if it's me thinking: "I shouldn't be wasting my time with this. I should be doing something to improve my job aspects."

At least I have overcome my gaming addiction/compulsion. The last time I played a game for 8 hours straight was last year.


Side note: I fucking hate this laptop :/. No secondary/right mouse click button(right click exists, but it's so hard to use) and the touch pad is just painful to use. This laptop copies Macs too much. I'll give you guys the model name tomorrow when I check the box. Edit: Laptop was a HP Envy