Personality

My personality is oblivious, but this has been what makes me different from people who have contemplated suicide. Because I know so less, it makes me curious and not hurt, hell come to think of it i probably have a pretty painful life, but i don't see it like that. Why? because i'm oblivious and i don't know much about life, but still i know that thinking about killing yourself will not make life any easier.

From what I've seen in this world, there is a lot of bad BUT there is also a lot of good, you just need to know where to look or at least be lucky enough to know. Popular kids... well I guess some of them have found true happiness but others I know are just empty because they can't find someone close and since their life is so open they cannot live the way they want to(most of the time)

Sometimes it is better to have few friends rather than having 21312129032108 friends, i found this out second hand originally but i still kept on chasing it and i eventually found out first hand.

Hell, i'll tell my readers(if i have any) a story again, back when i was little i always thought that i was alone, because of my shyness... however as i grew i realised i was never alone, there were people there... people who used to be nice to me... lol heck i still keep my old personality as that annoying bastard.

Look, the moral of that story was that... some people actually don't notice what they have because of the darkness that covers them, but when they finally go outside of that area they will see how much light there was. However, this is not always the case for everyone as some people live in utter darkness.. i.e. people in the 3rd world who are going through war. BUT in saying that... you should keep on hoping for an escape because it will come.

Bragging rights

Okay so this post isn't going to be about other people who brag about their achievements, no, this post is going to be about me and purely me. I know I may sound up myself right now but think about it, no one I know in real life should know about this post except for two people which I still highly doubt they would check constantly.. LOL, no but seriously...ill try to not sound up myself or etc. in this post.

Okay so today(as posted in the post below) I was on the bus, MAN it was fun but i felt so up myself afterwards, because I was talking to Johnny Nguyen about PCYC in front of the girls in my year(my friend from Sunday school was right, it's better to have less girls because you tend to spend less time pressing them) but yeah... I said something that I shouldn't have said.. which was "Year 11s are lazy man :/," referring to the PCYC dancing thing and then Jack(this Aussie person who was also in my year) was like "HEY!" in an offended tone.

Yeah so the same thing happened in the library ALTHOUGH I actually thought about it during the time before I arrived at the library. Same shit happened I felt so fly in the library because of my soften friend. Which was a TERRIBLE decision after I reflected upon it.

So yeah, although I made that post about me being really shy and whatnot I ended up being up myself today == which was FUCKING THE WORST FEELING EVER :/, since mainly I like to be nice and conservative when I'm thinking(not to sound too cliché).

Notes that don't relate to the concept of this post:
-I somehow managed to spell 'Library' wrong several times by spelling 'Libary' instead
-I googled up some of those sophisticated words to make sure it was used in the correct context(but i knew them I just didn't know which word to use.

Notes relating to this post:
I will probably post this later on tumblr later tonight, in another format
i.e. have you ever .... and when you were in that situation you felt... and so on

Today

Well, today I went to the library... it was fun but i got no work done :/

so here's my day summed up in a few dot points(yeah I like using dot points)
-So I took the bus home(kinda bad mistake but it turned out all good in the end because of certain events)... lets just say i got a cupcake by someone special(btw at that very moment I felt like a stalker
because I used to know where she lived and etc...man that was bad :/)
-While on the bus I saw a car crash(well the aftermath) and like I bragged about PCYC(which was also bad<ill do a follow up post on this)
-After that i headed to the libary.. saw some friends and this girl that was also important
-I went in and man it was bad :/ i did half an excercise and yeah...
-Was going to goto trainstation but bumped into one of my old primary school friends and well caught up for like 5 minutes and apparently he was going to the library too.
-Went to Cabramatta to pick up some PCYC forms, went back home to pick up some stuff and back to library.... all this took about 30-40 minutes which apparently my friends said it was quick.
-Went back to libary... was distracted by my friend and sefton-ers
-Went inside and out of the building several times
-Went with the important girl to woollies and after I came back walked inside and outside some more
-Friend asked me to come with him to buy food and so i did...
-After all this everyoen decided to go home so yeah... i decided to go home as well(btw I pretty much did zero work except for organising my stuff and my maths hw)

and that my friends/followers/readers is my day... the most interesting day I've had all year.

I'm going to do a follow up post to think about today...

EP #2 stalking me

this week hasn't been a good week for me, for some reason i am getting too lazy
this week can be summed up by a few dot points(well hyphen points)
-Went to school... did same old shit(work,eat,socialise etc..)
-Went libary throughout the week
-Practice some moves
-Had tutor
-Donated blood
-Tried to be a good citizen and failed..

Just thoughts...

I'm just typing up what I'm thinking right now... whenever i get bored or don't feel like typing any more I'll stop typing and post it.

It has been a while since I've reminisced like this, I don't know... just now i was looking through my old 'Tommy's Folder' folder and realised how many memories I've kept over these past few years. I realised how much my past can affect my future, it has caused many realisations, one of which was how much I long for my past, so nolstalgic compared to now :/

I remember when i was in year 5... looking at that clock, thinking... when will this day end.. i know i will regret it in the future but until then.. yeah, i know this is a fact now but yet i still waste my life away(man wtf I'm sounding like some poet right now).

Hell, i even remember spending some time with my old best friend and thinking about how plants communicate, lol kind of stupid to let all those things pass, ahh well i guess i'll have to build up my future now, to not regret the past... i know that i've tried this like 5 times already and i've been failing all of them. I don't know whether to hold on to my past to to let go... but until then...ill find out... i'll probably post again in a while... or not post for a long time and do a double/triple post like i always do.

EDIT(5 minutes later): i'm curious as to why i post.. i wonder who even reads this...o-o seriously.. i saw 300ish views on this page and i'm wondering if 250 of thoose views were from randoms clicking onto my page or someone who actually comes to visit my page because they are curious about my life... idk i guess i'll never find out..

Also i should probably try to get closer to people rather than push them away.... wow i spent 30 minutes writing this up

My life

I don't know, tests for me are coming up and i haven't studied for anything currently my life is once again heading downhill... my spelling is failing miserbly(because i almost spelt downhill as downheal and failing as falling) and my grammar is also just as bad, i wan't to improve it but i am lazy(not an excuse but yeah), i think i should stop gaming and start studying and stuff again.

Alright i think that's all i can post for today, although its been a while since i've posted anything

This is just weird...

Just now i saw an image on Tumb1r, this image was just a picture of a train station BUT here is the mind fuck bit: The train station was from my dream, in my dream I was picking up two chicks, AND THE TRAIN STATION RESEMBLES THE ONE IN MY DREAM 100% i think it was also raining in my dream as well WHICH IS PURE FREAKY/MIND FUCK!

Link to the image: http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lq5xqteqpZ1qam71go1_500.jpg

Most messed up dream i've had in ages

So the dream starts off with a group of people who wanted to test out this ride in a shopping center, little did they know that the ride was a machine that kills people and makes food out of it. When they got in the machine started to operate, the machine pretty much had metal razor sharp blades that would cut people in half in less then half a second, it was split into two sides with a metal bar about 50cm high. So the characters fell into the machine most of them died except for a few, I had an umbrella on me for some reason and i was standing in the middle by luck, I saw the stop button and pressed it. This slowly made the machine stop, someone was stuck in the machine half way, the other people were lucky, we organised the metal sheets/claw thingies so that it would be safe to get out. i was still standing in the middle trying to help.

Then some dumb ass emerged from the food(still being covered in food)who also looked like a zombie said “I’d rather die then be like this” and he started to push people down the machine, i accidental pressed the start button as I fell. The dream continued as some people(A black guy and some white people) walked pass this machine near the shopping center and the machine says to them “Would you like some food”,so they walk up to it standing on a metal bar divider thing and eats the meat, the machine had a mind of its own the whole time and makes them fall into the machine, the observers from above sees this and is full scared now.
That part of the dream changed into a trailer about the machine and its creator.
Apparently the creator was a people who liked to craft objects but hated humans, the creator had a girlfriend that was really fat and he was an old man in his 60s. He made this to destroy people and etc… one day when the girl and the man was on the train he said to her “You see that shopping center? you are allowed to ride every ride in there except for that one,” Which happened to be the cannibalistic ride. The girl was curious was curious and so the day after around closing time she sneaked in to try this ride. The man saw her and so she dipped her middle and ring finger on her right hand in nutella or some other chocolate paste(Which was a thing between them which represented death,happiness and something else respectively to the fingers from left to right while the palm was facing down). The man said “If you want to go into that machine then you will suicide yourself, but its your choice so choose carefully. She was too curious and she tried the machine, the next day police came to see this machine with a red truck for inspection, they took out the body and saw things like electronic planes and etc. The creator was like “So that’s what kept her alive this whole time.”
The scene changed into a court house, the man was about the be put into jail but then he offered that he would build the big red bride (like the one in America idk what it is called) to San Francisco or some state similar to that from his town. The court almost agreed but he added that the machien must stay.
Then the scene changed again to the bridge itself he was being monitored by an agent called Agent P(yes Phineas and Ferb reference), the creator kept on disobeying the orders of Agent P and said some shit about the other person being Agent P, the head of this agency said the first Agent P(the one observing the creator and telling him what to do was the real agent p), he kept on arguing back and force and the metal parts of the bridge was bending into a “U” shape from a “——-” shape.
And yeah that’s when the dream ended…
Also I think it is because that before I went to bed I thought to myself ‘if human body cells eat other cells then wouldn’t that make us cannibalistic?’ but yeah, that was probably the reason why i had this messed up dream.

I've also posted this on tumblr

Maths test

Just a quick post on the maths test. I seriously fucked up on this one :/... i under studied AND i spent too much time on one question >.> which was really bad in terms of performence... if i had cut 15 minutes from question 2 then i may have finsihed the test...

To sum up what happned:
-Spent more then half the lesson on column one
-Had about 20 minutes on question 3...
-Skipped q 4 because it looked too hard(but i probably would have understood it if i took time off...
-5 i managed to draw the graph
and 6 I never finished ==

NTS: i am never listening to my friends again about what they think is in the test........ OTHERWISE I WILL BE OVERSTRESSED... AND OVERSTRESSING FAILS ME :/

wow considering i said this was a short post it took me about 20 minutes to write this up

also please excuse my poor english, idk wtf happened to it.

EDIT 28/8/2011: well i just got my tests results back and i found out that i got 17/40... ahh well i saw this comming

Things that I was sure of they have filled me up with doubt

Yeah... so recently i had an epiphany... in the past i was all like "Yeah, if i found a girl i would treat her right" and stuff but when i started getting more confident in myself i kinda realised that; i don't actaully do theese things and that i probably won't :/...  soo yeah title is from a song called breathing by yellowcard

and yeah LOL awesome song and it relates to me ish...

I have to thank everyone who has been in my life :)

You guys/girls have taught me heaps about life... y'know the stuff that you don't learn from your parents... yeah those kinds of things...I want to give a shout out to all my mates/friends that are girls... for being there to help me through good and bad times...(yes i have bad times although i depict it like i don't have any bad times)

Alright pce... imma go shower or something now... and i haven't posted in a while :/

 This guy is a fucking true genius!! awesome voice and so on..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrksRiEUtAA&feature=mfu_in_order&list=UL

Havn't posted for a while...

Yeah... havn't posted in a while(well before yesterday anyways).. i dunno what to really type tbh... holidays i had more ranting to do then i do now so yeah

hmm i wonder why i always post a "I haven't posted on this for a while" after i've posted one post and not before i post that post...

i guess i can talk about my day...
today i went to library with David and then went to buy some new folders to rearrange stuff....

yeah i dunno tomorrow is Friday and i have 2 tests and next week is another 2 tests

You know what i've realised?

we live in a pretty sad world... some people have to fend for themselves whilst other people can just live or exist...