Day 1: List 20 random facts about yourself

1. I'm a male.
2. Currently a university student.
3. I'm Asian. 
4. I'm an introvert.
5. Has never had a proper job.
6. I program sometimes.
7. I stopped liking gaming.
8. I have horrible sleeping habits.
9. I hate listening to people I know for advice UNLESS I specifically ask them for advice.
10. I like to hear people talk
11. I'm scared of online dating, or at least the concept of it right now.
12. I started listening to sexual songs and have no fucking idea why.
13. I learn best by myself, but would like to have someone ready in case I need to ask questions.
14. I like to dream and daydream. A lot.
15. I see my thoughts visually. Kind of like Nikola Tesla. Actually it was because I found out about him, that's why I think like him now. At least I try to copy his thinking patterns.
16. I started having a lot of anxiety attacks for unknown reasons.
17. I'm pretty self confident, but not confident around other people.
18. Fly me to the moon by Frank Sinatra is probably one of my all time favourite songs.
19. I get good at things after taking a long hiatus from that particular skill/task.
20. I play the guitar.

30 day blog challange.

Googled '30 day blog challenge' and this was the first image, so leggo. 30 days. April's monthly challenge.

Yup.

Mimi, if you see this... ahaha sorry. Haven't seen your blog in a while so decided to read up on it. Now I'm doing this.

2017 Tommy Edit: I am adding in "2017 Edit for any new information/commentary, or more accurate descriptions"

0: Height

Last time I checked, 171-172 cm.
2017 Edit:  172 cm.

 1: Virgin?

Yes

2017 Edit: Still Yes. I'm saving it for marriage to clarify.

 2: Shoe size

nfi

2017 Edit: UK: Size 9; USA: Size 10

 3: Do you smoke?

No.

 4: Do you drink?

I started to recently.

 5: Do you take drugs?

What's your definition of drugs? I take drugs, not illegally of course.

2017 Edit: No illicit drugs. Seriously wtf... at 2014 Tommy. Stop trying to be a smartass.

 6: Age you get mistaken for

Yes. Way too often for being a guy.

 7: Have tattoos?

Nope

 8: Want any tattoos?

Nope. Too permanent for me.

2017 Edit: My opinions have changed. If I ever do get one, it would be 3 dots located on the inner part of my upper arm(humerus).

 9: Got any piercings?

 Had, ears.

 10: Want any piercings?

YES! Eyebrows, but it probably won't suit me.

 11: Best friend?

I don't have best friends anymore, just close ones. Right now, it's David.D, Vincent, and this new guy I met named Keven.

2017 Edit: Still true. Most of my close friends have distanced themselves from me.

 12: Relationship status

Non-existent.

2017 Edit: I lol'd at this one. Still very true. Though there are other steps which I need to take to change this (personal things).

 13: Biggest turn ons

So many to list. Girls who treat people nicely regardless of how they're feeling. There's more but I'll just list that one.

2017 Edit: Pretty/Cute girls. Yes I am shallow. Fucking deal with it. It says turn ons, not girl would you spend the rest of your life with.

 14: Biggest turn offs

Ignorant people. People who value their ego, and/or pride over the truth or what's right.

2017 edit: I see this in myself. I used to, and still do, value my ego. It's something that kept me thinking I was right all the time(or at the very least blinded me from the truth).

 15: Favorite movie

Hachiko. That was one sad movie.

 16: I’ll love you if

  Challenge me, mentally.

2017 Edit: I don't even know anymore. I just want someone to mother me... but that needs to change so I become more of a man.

 17: Someone you miss

I actually miss a bunch of people. Jessica, Who I considered my closest friend in year 1. Anyone in the FruityMuffins guild a.k.a. the best Australian guild i've had in any game. John, probably the first cool guy I met online. To list a few.

2017 Edit: This still remains true, though I somewhat have forgotten about this over the years.

 18: Most traumatic experience

When that guy grabbed my ass in Vietnam.

2017 Edit: Still VERY true (I am giggling as of writing this).

 19: A fact about your personality

I've become more negative.
2017 Edit: Can confirm, but not in the way you'd expect. A lot more light has been shed on society's growth because of this.

 20: What I hate most about myself

Lack of confidence. Something more original? Uhhhh I don't try much in life.

2017 Edit: Something even more original ? I can't really list since everyone's problems are fairly common. Here's one anyways: I lie a lot.

 21: What I love most about myself

Almost everything else. Yeah I'm pretty stuck up in that sense.

2017 Edit: Still very true. LOL. To clarify though. This is inner confidence, outer confidence could use some work.

 22: What I want to be when I get older

I.T. most likely. Nfi what else I'd be interested in.

2017 Edit: Yup. Still Information Technology. It's just going to help in the future. I know there are other fields that help but still...

 23: My relationship with my sibling(s)

Family I live with under the same roof = Horrible. Family outside that = Awesome.

2017 Edit: Eh... I take back what i said. Family I live with will always be my family. Outside family will change, even if they were strong relationships. I cannot speak for other people and their blood family though since some/most have it worse than me.

 24: My relationship with my parent(s)

Poor. Don't think it's improving any time soon.

2017 Edit: Oh yeah... still no improvement.

 25: My idea of a perfect date

Park and talk for hours on end, or sit somewhere where there's no one else and talk.

2017 Edit: Honeslty that just sounds boring. My 2014 self was very into making things sound more romaintic (I can't think of the word on the top of my head).

 26: My biggest pet peeves

The one where people comment on stuff in my life that has nothing to do with them/that they have no right to like just go away. < - I'm going to copy that, Mimi.

2017 Edit: Not much really bothers me anymore, but it's still a pretty important concept. Try not to bud into other people's business unless it's actually hurting someone.

 27: A description of the girl/boy I like

Hmmm... this is tricky. Yup. I got nothing. A girl I crushed on in uni at one point looked like she'd always stay up until 3am.

2017 Edit: Oh yeah I remember that.. ahah. she was probably 22-25? when I was 19. I still remember her as being very pretty.

 28: A description of the person I dislike the most

Annoying to say the least.

2017 Edit: Backstabbers, people who have no spine to make their own decisions, and rely on other people to make their opinions. Sort of like me I guess.

 29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend

For the fun of it.

2017 Edit: No seriously... I've done this before and quite frequently too. People have caught onto my bullshit though and it has become less fun. It's a problem and I need to fix it.

 30: What I hate the most about work/school

The whole freaking system.

2017 Edit: I still do, but who can blame them, there's no better system in place. Online learning or learning through experience is pretty fun though.

 31: What your last text message says

Sister to me: Stop practising I'm sleeping

2017 Edit: Excluding computer generated messages, Friend to me: "Ok"

 32: What words upset me the most

Enemy to best-friend in primary school(about me): "He's just using you."

2017 Edit: I actually forgot what this was about. I guess this will just be a deep wound that will permanently affect my psychology.

 33: What words make me feel the best about myself

"Thanks"

2017 Edit: I don't know anymore. Nothing seems to make me feel good.

 34: What I find attractive in women

Their ability to talk shit back, and if they're down to do everything.

2017 Edit: Oh yeah.. still completely true. Funny story. Someone actually asked me about this, and I said the same thing in 2016 (2 years after making this post initially).

 35: What I find attractive in men

Them bodies, and their sense of style. That sounded gay.

2017 Edit: Still true. THOSE FUCKING ABS MAN...

 36: Where I would like to live

Somewhere small, but not too small. Anything like a village.

2017 Edit: Don't know anymore. Maybe I'll revisit this idea some day.

 37: One of my insecurities

Lack of Confidence. Unoriginal, but whatever.

 38: My childhood career choice

Game designer.

 39: My favorite ice cream flavor

Does Oreo flavour count? If not, then cookies and cream.

 40: Who wish I could be

The guy I met at my tutor once who became a millionaire by the age of 20. Mainly because he changed from being shy to confident.

 41: Where I want to be right now

In a car or beach with my mates.

2017 Edit:  By myself, and just improving my life. Friends can wait.

 42: The last thing I ate

Rice and meat.

2017 Edit: Pho

 43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately

This girl , or Joseph Gordon Levitt. Man I love his style.

2017 Edit: Still true... but maybe not the sexist anymore

 44: A random fact about anything

You can see Mars sometimes when you're in Burwood.

2017 Edit: Learning how things are made from scratch and the behind of scene of everything is one of the most beautiful things you can discover. It just has so much genius behind it. Even simple things.

Depression + Uni

Written on the 14th of March. Posted on the 30th of March.

Lately, I've been feeling down. I think it may be uni and the fact that I couldn't take the gap half-year. I don't know, man. I just cannot be bothered for work. When I do uni work, it seems like all my energy just disappears.

Reason behind my private twitter and some context to my tweets on the 30th of march 2014

Congrats! You actually clicked on the link.

Anyways, the reason why I made a new private twitter is because I wanted to be able to tweet anything, my thoughts, my positive and negative emotions without annoying anyone. It's private for a reason, so anyone who may stumble across my private twitter will a) Just ignore it because it's private or b) not know who I am, and thus not follow it.  If people do decide to follow it, then i'll allow them, but they're free to unfollow any time they want, since I post at least a good 20 tweets a day.

This blog is kept open, because I feel like if someone were to stumble upon this place, they'll understand the mindset of other people. At least that's my way of seeing it. I always seem to enjoy listening to other people talk about their life, it helps me understand the world better than the way I created it in my head as a kid.

To give today's tweets some context, i'll explain it below.

In case you're wondering what I was feeling like today, keep reading. Early today I woke up to go pee. While I was getting up, I had an existential crisis again(3rd or 4th time in my life.) In that moment, I realised how unimportant we are in this vast universe. We're only a small fraction of atoms compared to the universe. Our brains can't even comprehend how big the universe actually is, and now there are theories of the multiverse. I went back to sleep after that. Had a dream that I met someone from high school I thought I knew (In reality, I didn't know this person in real life) and he said one of his friends committed suicide because of a girl named aria, or areeya... I'm not sure how it's spelt anymore. Not sure what that means. So, I'll try to Google it later.

Woke up at 2pm. Went on Twitter, Facebook, and YouTube. Now repeat that cycle for another hour. That's what I did for the first hour of waking up. After an hour of wasting time, I talked to my uni partner about an assignment. Made the layout etc.. etc.. not really intresting stuff to type up. Went church and saw that cute girl again. Didn't talk to her because I looked like crap. Didn't shave, still had bed hair — probably smelled like crap too. At the same time, I saw a lady in her 40s walking, and saw her tatoo on her leg. Thought about how much of a bitch I was for not approaching her and decided not to tell anyone except twitter. Yay for technology right? Went home and started playing guitar for four hours straight. Had so much fun playing the four chords song, rocketeer, such a fool, and attempting to play giant woman.

After playing with my toy for four hours long, I decided to buy a capo. Asked my sister to buy it for me, after I found the product. I also told her I didn't know what I was doing... but nope... she decided not to which was fine,  until... she started to complain that I fucked up. Like ffs. I told her that I didn't know what I was doing. Following that, it got even more annoying. My mum was hysterically telling me that I had a capo — which I did not have one, that's why I was buying one. It ends up she thought my tuner was a capo. Which is stupid, when I explained to her we didn't have a freaking capo. If we did I would have remembered.

When all that died down, I went to watch some jamnominations, and boy did I find a good one. It was this girl's version of Macklemore's Thrift Shop. Then.... it happened again... I thought about the formal night for the 5th-6th time this month. Fuck I should have kissed her instead of her kissing me. My reasoning behind it is I went as a 'friend'. Which I did, but yeah. I regret it now — after a whole year. When all that ended I went shower and had another existential crisis there.

There's a freaking fly in this room that's annoying me now. I'm also pretty annoyed at this family, too.

Everyone should read this post.

http://acmjtoth.wix.com/annatothmusic#!The-reasons-why-you-shouldnt-/c6a3/3

It's pretty interesting. I liked reading it because it gave me an insight into other people's mindset. Honestly, most of this post shows some pretty good points, but that's where practice and hard work comes into play.

Im glad I blog

It gives me an insight on thoughts that I forget as time passes. Not much to say here besides that.

Storytime

I once had a conversation with an old friend. It didn't last long, but it ended with me telling him that I would become a millionaire by the age of 20. It was based off an idea a person had implemented in me a while back; while I was in a class with a tutor. Some time as passed since then, and I am 19; still not a millionaire. I don't know if it was me being naive, or just idealistic of the world around me. However, I'm sure of one thing, and that one thing is i'm a man of words, not action. I rarely take the action required to complete my goals in life. Recently, I started to take actions towards my monthly goal. The goal itself is not important, so I will not mention it. These successes have been limited, but I consider it progress. I will continue to complete my goals, no matter how long they take.

Now I am going to rewrite this post with all of the details that would otherwise be missing in a "high quality" post.

The truth is I really did have a conversation with my friend. Before you continue reading, I know some people would assume the friend I was referring to was someone I had stopped talking to for over a year, and just caught up. That's not the truth. The friend that I referred to in this post has been friends with me for several years now — since 2009 to be exact. We talk almost everyday about random stuff. Like the young adults we are, we discuss many things, from people to events to ideas. Obviously, the conversation I had with him was just one other conversation. The conversation itself was not important to this post, but I had to give it some context. I did have the conversation several times though.

The idea of being a millionaire by 20 didn't seem unreasonable at the time. I honestly thought I would be able to do that, or at the very least $100,000, had I changed and did some things different. Obviously I had confidence issues — at least until I learnt to not give a fuck. The main issue I had was not lack of confidence, but rather, lack of content to talk about. I've questioned it time and time again, and I still do not have an answer that makes me want to stop asking. To answer your question: Yes, Some guy actually came into my tutor and talked to the class about life. It was awesome.

Though it is true that I am mainly a man of words, I do enjoy taking action nowadays, even if taking action nowadays means taking action once a blue moon. When I mentioned I take more action now than I have before, I actually mean it. To put it in context though, I complete one action a week. Realistically, in the past fortnight, I've done two things. Much less than most sucessful people who do one new thing a day.

Yeah the quality of this post really dropped. It's late, and i'm tired.