How long has it been since i've done this...

So its been a while, I know I haven't posted much but I guess I'll post a proper, fully punctuated, proper capital letters and proper spelling blog post. So, this post is going to be about my dreams and whatnot (when I say dreams I mean my aims in life, NOT the ones I have during my sleep). Okay so I realised that I want to do something that is physical for now. It may and probably WILL change over time, but for now... I want to form a dance group, but here is the problem. My friends won't join because they are too fidgety and I need at least 4-6 people.

So yeah that is the end of this post, I guess I will start to go out more during the holidays and have fun, I need feel something again :/, it seems like I've lost all feelings and I guess during the time of my insanity it wasn't even a real feeling because insanity is sort of like gasses rather then solids. THEY ARE EVERYWHERE! thoughts are scattered etc. unlike a cold you can actually feel it in your chest.

Yeah i know this post is everywhere but at least i tried

64 posts, 64 dreams

Title meaning: this is my 64th post and i have recorded about 64 dreams on my dream journal....
Actually come to think of it I've probably had over 80 dreams by now that i remember... its just that i don't write it down and etc..Okay to sum up the dream i had today:
- It involved the girl i liked
- We were touching(no intimacy)

Okay so i bet some people are going "Dude... its just a dream, its not real," yeah... well i dream my reality then i forge it< sounds lame i know but that's what i do.

So yeah.. I've been trying to build up my confidence in all the wrong ways i.e talking to randoms and saying hi to them and etc.

It's time..

I think it's finally time to call quits, yeah I'm getting sick of life and i need to stop doing things the wrong way and start doing it the right way, and no this does not mean I'm going to suicide.

Whatever it is for now I'm going to disable my facebook/tumblr and turn off msn for a while
for anyone who sees this, all i'm going to say is... "Laters bro".

So today

Well technically yesterday but yeah on the 24th of June 2011 is what I meant. I was at livo by myself today and i gotta say... BIGGEST FAIL OUT(well besides the Para one).

K so heres the events that happed in order
- I was going home from school... i wanted to go fairfield but i forgot and got off at my station because I was too caught up with talking to my friends and checking out the girls on the train < First fail
-  Then i went home to get money(lucky I did otherwise i wouldn't have had enough money for the train ticket< which is mentioned later)
- I went to the station saw some cute girls and waited for the train < that was probably the only good bit about this jaunt.
- When I arrived at livo i saw this Asian transit officer watching the gates and so I asked her if I could go through, I showed her my bus pass(which normally works) and she said no... and so I had to make up a lie about not knowing about it etc...< Second fail
- So i decided to go back to fairfield... but on the way there i thought to myself.. "Hey... wouldn't it make more sense to stop at warrick farm and then buying a ticket there..." and so i did.
- After buying the ticket which happend to be a waste of $2.20(btw this is alot when you're broke), i went to EB games and bought what I needed to buy and well around that time it was alright.
- Now, on the train back was the highlight of my day. Okay so, I was on the train wondering how people react like if I said to them "Hi, have a nice day" randomly.. < This is where my third fail happened

It took me a while to get the balls to do it, but i eventaully got the balls to do it to this random lady(she was the only one on the carriage so that made it 29831029382109x more easier). Also before you guys/girls/transexuals make any assumptions, I was doing this to test the psychological mind, and also because i was inspired by my friend who had the confidence to do EVERYTHING that I couldn't, and to build some confidence(the wrong way!).

Okay back to the story.. at first when i tried she didn't notice, so I tried again and gave her a little wave and she saw...and her reply was "yes," and after that i walked off. So when i walked off i bet she thought that i was a weirdo (which i am partially... actually to be honest I'm mostly a werido... but of my insanity which I am failing to control< age... == always makes things 100x harder).

BTW that classifies as a third fail because I didn't exactly say it in the correct tone.. I think I was too quiet or something.

Okay cheers to whoever reads this :).

cause in a world gone mad

In a world of madness... what would you do?... stay sane? or go insane?

one day...

how come i feel like i've posted this title before?

anyways onto the topic... uhmm soo yeah... i've been thinking... about the girl i used to like...
and well yeah... i failed at aiming to get her... i probably would of failed... but all worth a try....

one day i swear... i will do something about my shitty-ness< if that's a word...
NTS: fix my spelling and grammatical errors

I told you... i'll accept you for whoever you are...

Okay so there are many many groups out there that are like built of people of a certain personality/social value.

Me? well there's a difference... i know there are many other group like mines but yeah... my group is aimed at getting as many people as possible of any kind... no criteria, no social requirement... idc if you're weird.... because you know, everyone is weird.

LOL kk i know there are alot of groups like mines but yeah.. LOL i jsut felt like saying it

and besides who is going to care right?... no one is going to ever read this post :D

fuck this shit ==

i guess this is where my downfall begins...
seriously though
- atm... im not caring about anything including school, social life,doing anything not even gaming or thinking for that matter
- I'm starting to hate a lot of things now... idk why maybe this time will pass eventually
- I'm not sad anymore im just plain pissed/angry

okay now onto the real reason why i wanted to post this post....
k so... today someone said...
WHY CAN'T YOU BE LIKE THIS PERSON!!
etc.. etc...

k so this never really affected me before.. but since today im in a bad mood i feel like ranting...
1) I'm not like that person because i'm not that person...
2) I am me so if you don't like it then too bad..

thats pretty much it for today... ill probably blog more later.

-LawLies a.k.a Tommy

Fuck thoose people who determine people's present by their past!

Yeah so... i just came to a realisation(or as some may call it epiphany), i realised that i like people who has a sad past(much like mine(lol actually i wouldn't consider my past to be the saddest)) for thoose who have seen or managed to stalk my blog, you would have noticed the post about my past, i kinda realised that people with a sad past e.g. people who didn't have friends in the past are the best people...
i realised this through hearing a story about one of my friends who has a sad past


People who have had good pasts can be considered as fakes(not always though)... remmeber people learn from other people or experience... if they have neither welll then unless if they have a really pro mind then yeah... they can be a real...

now the above as stated, does not always apply to everyone... heck i don't even know if people consider me as a fake or a real...

kk OT: To sum this post up
- Fakes often don't have a bad past(Does not apply to everyone)
- Reals often have a sad past or present that is not relate to the amount of friends they have e.g. if a person already knows like 100 people and they say they don't know enough people compared to someone who only knows 5 people.(Same thing applies, does not always apply to everyone).
- People who have a sad past/present are really good people who you should hang out with 50% of the time... Reason: Some people choose the dark side rather then the light side.< Reason for that... : They were in this darkness for too long and no one gave them their light.
       ... trust me i know... I've been there with another friend... i found light whilst he didn't.
- just because someone is nice doesn't mean they are being fake...

Delusional

Yeah, I know, I'm delusional
Although i know that my imaginations aren't real, i still want to have it... I know the girl i like probably only thinks of me as a friend but yeah idc...