Day 21: Super powers

If I could have one super power, it would be to be able to control time. I would first use it to go back in time to redo things perfectly, but knowing me, i'd probably go back a second time and fuck things up intentionally.

Day 20: 3 significant memories from childhood.

1. My dog's death. I've explained it before.
2. Losing my friend. Explained in the previous post.
3. Stopped my singing career at the age of 6. I used to sing at restaurants for weddings, and stuff.

Day 19: If I could live anywhere, where would it be and why?

I don't have a preference really. I can live anywhere, and it wouldn't matter. Why? Because I'm pretty comfortable with life regardless of location.

Day 18: Most difficult thing I had to forgive

The most difficult thing I've ever had to forgive was when my primary school best friend left me for another group. I honestly only forgave him because he was my best friend, and because he was young and was easily convinced by another group.

It all started one day when we were just playing on the playground. I had fun, he had fun, until some other person came along and tried to separate us. I he successfully did it. With very few words. I guess my actions did contribute to it.

Day 17: Something I wish I was great at

There are actually a number of things I wish I was great at. The main one would probably be owning and running a business. My theory is that if I run a business, and it is sucessful, I can delegate certain tasks to other people, and have more free time to myself.

Day 16: 5 greatest accomplishments

This one is going to be hard. I havn't accomplished much in my life.

1. Organised a paint ball game of about 17 people. Turned out to be a success.
2. Able to play guitar
3. Learned intermediate programming outside of uni.
4. Got a funny ATAR. (69.15)
5. Created a server using my own computer. HTTP, FTP, and gaming servers.

I'm really pushing it for those last few.

Day 15: If I could be an animal.

If I could be an animal, I'd be a lone wolf, or a leopard.  Why? I just think they look cool. They're not afraid of many things(at the least they appear to be ferocious). Wolves seem to be an intresting creature, since they can hunt in a pack, or alone. Leopards... I havn't done my research. I just think they're cool.

I honestly cannot say much here. I haven't thought about this much.

Day 14: 5 strengths

5 strengths I have....

1. I like to understand things. My ability to want to learn has got to be my favourite trait. My arsenal of knowledge is pretty large.
2. I can conquer my fears pretty easily. My fear of the dark was conquered when I was 18. I know that seems old, but there are a number of people who never overcome this fear.
3. I understand the theory behind a lot of things, hence why I find the world so intreresting.
4. I'm a realist, but at the same time, an optimist.
5. I can leave my friends at the drop of a hat. Though, this can be seen as a weakness.

Day 13: 5 Weaknesses

List format again. So five of my biggest weaknesses is pretty dark.

1. My biggest weakness(or strength. Depending on how you see it.) is probably being influenced easily. Some examples are of me not waking up earlier than 12 because my mum says to go back to sleep.
2. My next biggest weakness is my inability to do stuff. For example, I cannot send an email, without being reluctant to do it.
3. Another weakness is that I tend to leave things until the last minute. I don't have much to say about it besides I need to do things earlier.
4. I have a hard time making friends. Nuff said.
5. I cannot get along with my family.  I can't talk to them without sounding like i'm pissed off. The truth is, I really am pissed off at them, but I still want to fix my relationship with my family. This has impacted me negatively.

Day 12: Typical day

These days it's been a lot more interesting. A typical day for me would consist of one or more of the following:

• Wake up.
• Brush teeth.
• Shower.
• Game.
• Going out with mates.
• Doing stupid shit for the hell of it.
• Stress over my work, and not actually do anything about it.
• Skype call with my friends.
• Uni
• Attempt to approach girls, and fail miserably because i'm too much of a bitch.
• Small talk.
• Tease one of my friends about their hot female friends.
• Check out girls.
• Open up Git Bash, and play around with it.
• Open up cmd, and play around with it.
• Play guitar.
• Sing.
• Brush teeth. Again.
• Sleep.

Day 11: 10 pet peeves

Wow. I've skipped a whole week of this post. Sorry about that. I got caught up on some things.

1. BIGGEST ONE: People who get offended when I tell them the truth about them. Like honestly, it's true. If you're so pissy about it, you have to change it.
2. People who won't shut the fuck up. I'll listen if I ask you. If I don't ask, don't fucking tell me about it. It's fine if you want to tell me something, just listen to the social cues.
3. When people are nosy.
4. Condescending people.
5. Hypocritical people.
6. People who invade your privacy.
7. People who won't be mature about situations that require them to be mature(kind of hypocritical for me to say that).
8. People who can't take jokes.
9. People who assume stuff, when it's not true.
10. Cheesers. Play the game properly, bro. (Starcraft 2)

Short post. I have 7 more of these to catch up on.

1234 page views.

Sorry for the lack of monthly posts. I'll make it up to you guys. I've been extremely caught up in this assignment. Once i'm done with it today, I will be posting all the posts i've skipped.

Day 10: Most embaressing moment.

These topics are getting harder to write about. I don't have many embarrassing moments. None I can think about right now.

I'll write one up if I can think of one.

2017 Edit: And here it is 3 years later... This was during my "pick up girls" day. Back then my friend and I would try to conquer our confidence issues by approaching a girl. I did it first by going up to a girl at McDonalds and ordering something, like you would. FOR SOME FUCKING REASON, I decided it was a good idea to ask her for her phone number. It went something like this.

Me: *Ordering something*... proceeds to finish the order.
Her: Would you like anything else?
Me: *Trying to be smooth* How about your number?
Her: *Smiles* says something and rejects me(I think it was politely).

I still remember that pretty vividly because it was one of the most embarrassing moments in my life. Honestly though I don't regret it or feel embarrassed by it anymore. It has turned into good memories with good laughter. It was something I did because I wanted to do it.

I had a nightmare

I haven't had a nightmare for at least a couple of years now.

It didn't revolve around me. It revolved around my uncle. In this dream/nightmare, my uncle became homeless. I don't know why, but I got so emotional about it. I was around the city one day, and saw my uncle. I had the realisation that he was homeless, since his clothes indicated like that. I ran up to him to talk to him, and wanted to buy him food. He disagreed, since I think he was embarrassed. I asked if he wanted maccas(that product placement), and he completely disagreed to it.

I went around to find food, and I lost him. I went around to find him, and I think I gave him a phone call(not sure why, because he didn't have a phone), he answered and I said meet up at a location. He agreed. I started to head towards that direction. I saw a really cute girl, and started talking to her, and really quickly made out with her, and started touching her(with her consent). I heard my uncle's voice and said to her I had to leave. I started to run to him, and for some reason he wanted to leave. I started signing my version of the song "For the first time in forever" by Anna and Elsa, the one in the castle. He finally agreed, and we sat down next to those girls I met. We also met another homeless guy, we just started to talk about things, and life. The other homeless guy said something about having abbot in Canberra as our leader and still having homeless white people.

Day 9: 10 people who have influenced me

Shitty post again. I've been busy lately, so excuse my quality.

I don't think there are 10 people who have influenced me, only a few. Most of the time, I get influenced from strangers who I don't even talk to. With the exception of the first one, this list is in no particular order. Note: I'm not listing any names, with the exception of people who are publicly known.

1. Most influential person i've ever met was that guy who did a random guess talker in my tutor. I'll go over more details some other time.
2. The next guy was is Richard White, the CEO of Wisetech. He gives some really good speeches.
3. This girl I met in year 11, she wasn't really influential, she just changed my view on the world.
4. A friend, who I am still friends with today, in year 8. Man that guy knew how to influence people.
5. This new guy I recently met. He changed the way I viewed the world.
6. That magician who picked up that girl at uni that one time. LOL very specific right? Basically, he was really good at it, and inspired me to pickup.
7. The guys at simple pickup. I'm pretty uncomfortable telling you guys this, but yeah... they changed the way I viewed the world, and reduced my anxiety around people to basically zero.

If I recall more names, I'll write them down. For now, I can only think of 7 people who have actually influenced my life positively.

Day 8: Five passions I have

Five passions, this will be a quick post. I'll fix it up later. Currently, they are:

1. Guitar
2. Drawing
3. Gaming
4. Helping people
5. Volunteering. Okay this last one was kind of a cheat, since helping people is the same thing.

Day 7: Dream Job

My dream job. I don't have a title for it. If I were to have a dream job, It would need to have these qualities:

• Have hours which I can choose. I cannot wake up at 8am every work day.
• Workmates which I can stand.
• Something that I don't do for leisure. For sure. I would not enjoy doing something I do in my spare time to get my mind off work, as work.

This was a shit post. I don't have a dream job. I'm sorry, guys. This was a bad topic for me.

Day 6: Hardest thing I've ever experienced.

Prenote: I actually started getting teary when I wrote this.

Probably my dog's deaths. To elaborate with what I had said once, I cried a lot the following days. My first dog, Trevis , died the day after I broke my arm. I distinctly remember coming home and thinking, "Ehh... I'll spend tomorrow with my dog. I'm really tired right now." I woke up the following morning only to find my parents telling me my dog died. Like many people, I did not believe it at first. I saw a bag in my the laundry room, I had hoped that it wasn't true. No matter how much I hoped, it happened. I went to school that day looking depressed. Sat away from all my classmates at recess(not like I had any friends at the time, but that's not the point). One of the teachers approached me and ask me if I was okay. I explained the situation, and she was nice enough to say, "You are brave to come to school today." I'm not sure how much it meant to me at the time, but it definitely means a lot to me now. The week that ensued was completely depressing. Luckily I was still in primary, so I didn't have to deal with much crap from other people.

The second time this happened, I wasn't as sad when she started to get sick. I think it's just I was less emotionally attached to this dog. Her name was Angel. What happened was, my second dog started choking, and vomitting. At the time, I didn't know why, so all we could do was take it to the vet. The vet explained to my family that she had to get some anti-biotics in order to survive. At the time, we couldn't afford it. So we just let the RSPCA take care of her. When we went in, I held my tears as much as possible. I'm sure they figured out that we were the owners of that dog. A few days later we found out she was dead. Once again, I hit a low. It was a sad time, I had cried all the tears I could cry. It was several weeks after until I got over her death. That's why I could never get myself a new dog. I don't want to experience that trauma ever again.

Bonus: Something that really sparked my emotion was this time my mum ripped a photo of my dead dogs. I remember having that choking feeling, and tearing up.

2017 edit: I found out that the reason why Angel died was because my dad fed it human medication. because apparently she was sick. Basically he kept it a secret for several years before telling anyone. I don't think I can ever forgive him for basically killing our dog.

Day 5: 5 Things that make me happy right now

I wrote the ones for Saturday, and Sunday in advance knowing I won't have internet access.

1. Winning staring contests with total strangers — It seems strange, but as I've said before, one of my biggest insecurities is confidence. Whenever I can win a minute long staring contest with a stranger, I feel like I'm on top of the world. No really, I do.
2. Hanging out with friends — The most important thing to me right now, is being able to talk to friends about life and stuff. I had a realisation that I actually enjoy people — and no this wasn't the realisation from the 10 things you'd tell your 16 year old self. It's quite fun.
3. Approaching random people — Yes, I am referring to people of the opposite gender. It feels like an achievement, and I get a rush whenever I do it. Not much else to it.
4. Staying up until 3am — It's tranquil and often quiet enough for me to think.
5. Allowing my creative juices to flow — Whenever I play guitar or draw, especially with the 3am nights, I just feel relaxed.

Note: I'm going to have to write Day 6's challenge another time. I started getting teary when writing it. I don't want to get teary in public.

Day 4: 10 things to your 16 year old self

 Considering my 16 year old self already knew most of this, this is really just advice for other people who may come across this blog. There are actually very few things I want to tell my 16 year old self. Here are some.

1. Meet people. Homosapiens are freaking interesting.
2. Continuing the first one, the most important people you'll meet, will happen randomly. You can't plan who will be important in your life.
3. Girls are immature between the ages of 12-19. Only few are keepers. Date if you want, but most likely, you won't find your future wife in there yet.
4. You're a man. Take action. In order words, KISS THAT GIRL! Or whatever other action that requires you to be a man.
5. Learn programming before Uni. It's useful.
6. Find a job. Ignore what everyone else tells you about high school. You need to have experience with other people.
7. You will realise something about your immediate circle of friends at the age of 19(Time I wrote this). That's something you have to realise yourself. No cheating. Ahaha. I'll write up what the thing I meant here in a future post.
8. The most relevant person you will ever meet, will only talk to you once, and he will be talking to you indirectly.
9. You become a troll, and a great mind fuck artist.
10. You still have no fucking idea what you want to be at the age of 19.

Bonus: I don't know what I would have replaced to put this in there, but here it is: Live. You don't need to follow any of the advice I gave you here. Just live. Most things will turn out for the better.

Day 3 : Relationship with parents

Sorry for the one day delay. I had no net, and forgot to post this while I was in uni. Also, most of this post will be guessing work, since I have never thought about this topic too much.

My relationship with my parents can be summed up with one word: Shit. Any variation of that word also works. It started when I was little. I never really talked to my parents, I got along with them just fine as a kid. As I grew up, and discovered online gaming, I became more distant. I was always pissed off at my mum. I guess it was because she was always trying to know what was going on in my life. Fml. Even thinking about it makes me pissed. I know she's just trying to care, but it gets annoying.

I guess it only got worse as my mum constantly prevented me from doing, exploring, and experimenting. The earliest memory of this I remember is her preventing me from doing such a thing was when we first got a computer. It had nothing — a few icons here and there, and the start bar. I wanted to click on the windows logo just to see if that was a way to turn off the computer. My mum prevented me from doing that. Later that day I found out that it was the way to do it if you want to turn off the computer. Had I tried it, it would have taught me to try to experiment. Obviously this hasn't affected me much, but it still feels like things could have turned out differently, if I had been raised differently. Maybe that was my dad preventing me. I forget. I was only 5 years old.

With my dad, I never really looked up to him. Maybe it's because he doesn't talk much about his achievements. I'm not sure. With my dad, I enjoy spending whatever time I can with him since he's a very lenient guy. Not much to say about my old man.

All that being said, I have been sort of trying to improve my relationship with my parents. However, I  can't seem to get over how pissed off I am at my mum.

Day 2: Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears

I'm actually blogging this at library right now, since my internet died out. That dedication right?


Onto the post, So I have some pretty irrational fears, and some rational ones. I've dealt with most of my fears, except a few. My funniest/strangest fear is that I fear wet hair in the bathroom, or dry hair anywhere else. When I see wet hair, or even dry hair on the floor, I become angst for no known reason. Heck, I can't even clear out the hair from the vacuum cleaner. I'm not sure why, but it's true. How it developed... That's a hard question for this fear. I guess it started at a young age, it naturally developed for some apparent reason. I'm thinking it has something to do with it being dirty, and I don't particularly like to get myself dirty.

Next in line,is my fear of other people I care about dying. It's self explanatory. You don't want someone to die before you do. Let's be honest here, most of us don't want this either. It developed during my time of mass existential crisis, and anxiety attacks. Yay, uni! I had a realisation that I wouldn't care if I died, but if someone else I cared about died, that would be a different story. I've had several dreams about this, and one time I even woke up crying. Manly, right? It kind of stemmed from my dog dying at a young age. That was one dark day for me. I was in tears that day. Wanted to be left alone, and I was actually glad that people were there for me when it happened.

My third fear is isn't really a fear, it's more of a worry, but I don't think I have any more major fears. Anyway, my third worry is that I'll stay the same for an extended period of my life. I've had a friend tell me he likes me because I'm the only person who hasn't changed during the time that they've known me. Honestly, this would normally be a compliment, but I actually took it to heart and realised that I have to change. Since, that's what life is about.

Anyways, Library is closing. I might elaborate on this later.