Just a thought.

We say to our children, students, peers, etc. that we can grow regardless of conditions. We just have to try harder. I'm just curious about that. Obviously people say be realistic, but that's the point. In biology, a creature or plant can only flourish in certain conditions. Hence why certain plants only grow in certain conditions. For example, the green sour mangoes you buy at local fruit shops, will only ever sell during spring, if I am correct¹. Most animals will either die our after a couple of millions or billions of years if the conditions are not optimal for their growth and survival. Yet the opposite can be said if the conditions are optimal for their growth. Their population will grow, the species will outmatch any other competition in the area, and their prey population will be reduced in numbers.

I'm just saying, just because everyone tells you something is correct, doesn't make it right. Remember, " if nine intelligence analysts came to the same conclusion, it was the duty of the tenth to disagree. No matter how unlikely or far-fetched a possibility might be, one must always dig deeper." Quote from World War Z²

It's just a thought. I could still be wrong. Though the conditions needs to be right for growth, that's why, some days you feel like nothing and cannot change, while for other days, you feel on top of the world and can accomplish anything.

One more note. I wrote this at close to 3am, so if there are mistakes, please point them out so I can analyse them tomorrow.

¹ I'm an IT student; I'm not a farmer, so don't expect me to get the facts 100% right. Please check the actual facts yourself. I'm not entirely sure myself when the actual season for green mangoes are.
² Fuck you Harvard style reference. I am not wasting my time with your methods.

-

Why i don't work well in a classroom
- Though many people do not judge you when you're in a class, the expectation of having to work limits your thinking capacity.
- Also, the loudest person is often thought to be the correct one. However it is not always the case.
- Just anticipating being call on by the teacher and the noise alone can stop someone from doing work.

Strange or not. I don't know.

Ever since I started university, my hate for long articles have grown tremendously. I'm not too sure why it has grown, but I can only assume it has to do with uni being completely different from high school. I used to never like reading long pages of information before, but I could bare with it for a while if I had to. Even just now, when I look at the links of "Scholarly articles" on Google, it just makes me cringe. I don't know if it's shock of never reading that many pages in my life before, or it was the structure of the article.


Now... I know this has no coherent flow to it, but please excuse this because I am writing this at 2am.

Take a risk.

If I ever wanted to start a company, my mantra would be "Take a risk." In case you guys were wondering, "Wtf is a mantra?" It's basically a slogan for your employees. It's not for your customers. Took me a few weeks to find that answer. The reason why I brought this up was because I had to.

Passion. Enjoyment. etc.

In the past few years(probably more), there has been a lot of talk about 'following your dreams', or 'find your passion', etc. This post isn't going to be about tips on finding your passion, but rather what i've realised.

Recently -- actually, it's at this exact moment in time -- i've realised that i'm only enjoying myself when studying IN a classroom(excluding lectures). When i'm actively learning in a classroom with the help of teachers is when i'm actually enjoying myself. If I have trouble with a question... np. Just ask the tutor. The problem lies within homework. I can't seem to get myself to focus on homework for whatever reason. I think it is because the lack of help from home and at uni. Yes, I realise that uni isn't about being spoon fed. I also know that the whole point of uni is about 'education'¹. Yet they don't help you learn that much. Yes, they provide content, but they don't explain it as best as they can.

Example or fig 1... whichever one floats your boat:
I'm in class learning constructors. By the end of the class, i don't understand wtf a constructor is.² It's not until I start googling it that I find out what it is. It took some time to understand but I finally was able to differentiate between a method and a constructor and actually understood what a constructor is.

I don't know. I guess I'm just burnt out from high school and now burnt out from uni. I'm not used to the transition. I want a gap year but I don't know how I will plan it.

I'm sick of it all right now. Uni is hard. I don't know if it's me being a dumbass or being lazy.

G G C ah(GG cya)³


End notes.
¹ Education is in quotation marks because I question what I learn in uni. Questioning whether the university is about learning. It's mainly due to my programming fundamentals class. I can probably learn this online and learn faster than in class. + it's more interesting when you learn by yourself.

² There's also a possibility that it was because I was barely awake in class.
³ Trying a new outro for when I start making videos.

Mother fucker...

That is all. I just wanted to vent my rage on this website.

ayeeeemunaa:

Do you ever feel
Like you don’t know what’s going on anymore. Like you don’t care about anything anymore. You’ve lost motivation to do anything. Your mind is set on too many things that you are confused about your feelings, and you can’t explain how you feel either. The feeling of emptiness, and feeling that barely anyone is there for you. Feeling that no one understands you anymore. And it seems like there is nothing to look forward to anymore.

Found on tumblr and has soooooo much truth in it.

Old post. Thought I'd bring it up again.

Day 5: Self reliance.

Most of you guys may or may not have heard the term "Self reliance" before (I seriously do not know the statistics behind this.) However, if you have never heard of it before, then what it means, is just being reliable on yourself -- in the most basic of terms.

Why I want to build this aspect within myself is that, I don't want to always put things off until the last minute any more. It was fine from year 7 to 11, but once year 12 hit, it had devastating effects. I mean come on, 69.15 ATAR? That's pretty shitty. Luckily, I got into UTS in a VERY good course. Note: VERY is in caps because I couldn't think of a better word. I can only assume if I keep putting things until the last minute, the stress will just overload and... boom; A panic attack.

Luckily, these days, I've been realising a lot of things. Still not self reliant, but learning a lot in the process. There isn't much I can say about this topic, except that it is a very useful trait to have. If you have it, you'll become a greater person than before. That is all. 

Those moments

You know those moments in your life where you just realise something so BIG that it changes your mindset forever? I just had one of those. I recently(30 minutes ago) realised that life is fucking hard. I used to say "Life isn't hard, you just suck." as kind of a joke thing. Suddenly, I've realised this through my dad. He works hard day in, day out for the family to get along. We aren't the richest family out there, but sure as hell, my parents, and sisters work hard to get by.

I think one of my many goals in life is to make lots of money so that my family can enjoy the good life. You know... The life where you don't have to work past 50? The life where you sit alongside your pool, while sipping on a cold glass of beer/lemonade(whichever one tickles for fancy).

My goal is to own a company and own 1,000,000 dollars in my bank by 20 or 21. Ideally, 19 would be even better. That's all for today folks. I know it's a short post, but what can you do about it when you have nothing to write about.

A theory.

I've come to the conclusion that shorter is better. Think about it. Would you rather read something that's written as:

• To allow a website to be accessible, easy to use, and allow the users to enjoy the content, you must allow every aspect of your website to be easily accessed, by either letting that person have the ability to click one link and lead them directly to the webpage.

OR

• Everything one click away = Good. Hard to nagivate = Bad.

You tell me. My opinion is clearly on the 2nd one. It's much easier to read and if you don't have much time and it's just easier to read because it's not long-winded. I've become a fan of sign posting.