I guess no one will ever know... unless they somehow found this blog, So far there has been two people that I've told. I guess everyone out there is the same, we all have deep dark secrets that we want to hide, we have feelings that we can't express and the worst part about these feelings/secrets are that you can't tell anyone because no one would be there for you...No I'm not going to post my dark feelings/secrets on here.. since I like to keep things on a positive note but I will however post something from my past that I finally realised yesterday while in bed.
So yesterday i realised out many things...
when i was little even though I was the MOST anti social kid in school for my year(i didn't realise that now.. I realised it as a kid) i still had haters amongst my year(not naming any names) and well that faggot was my friend for several years... i guess i was desperate for friends at that time(lol I let him know he was my friend-nemy.. and enemy and a friend),but i was lucky to find some people, some people that tried to support me here and there but you know... kids are kids we give up easily. THANKFULLY I managed to meet a few groups throughout my primary school life... some were just ass-holes who used people for the sake of using people... while others were nicer.
i have to thank the nice people for where i am today... the teachers and those nice people helped me see the light. yes i was one of the luckier ones who managed to get through primary and not contemplate suicide even though i was so anti social. lol come to think of it I can't believe that I was a cocky cunt even though I was the quiet one.
so to sum this post up... I got back stabbed three times, once in yr 3 or 4 while lending my so called friend my GBA console. the second one was when a different friend hacked my runescape account and gave it to one of his friends all because i said "runescape is boring now i kind of stopped playing"(or something on thoose lines... that same so called friend hacked my maplestory account and again while in yr 6 within the last few weeks of school(which i was so grateful.. that i didn't have that long left) where another so called friend talked shit about me behind my back all because he thought i stole popularity(when all I did was hang out with different groups as i grew up..) and because of that i lost my best friend, who was my best friend for 2 years, year 5 to 6.
k so the second one i just wrote wasn't as serious as the other two but i was a hardcore gamer at the time... gaming was pretty much my life.
Yeah i just felt like getting that off my chest because you know.. although it's in the past... i never learnt from it... so now i want to revise it and learn something from it
pretty much if you guys/girls are still confused about what I've learnt from it... then here is the summary
- I learnt that there's always a light out.. you just have to be brave enough to find it
- If you ever feel back stabbed then leave them behind and find new friends
- If you could never fit in.. then it's a good thing... it means you're different
- and finally there are ALWAYS nice people in this world... it's just their the images get distorted because of the bad people around them or if not then the bad people around the world
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